dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize