The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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