I need help removing her.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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