But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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