We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
