you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
be right there i have to get my cape
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
