I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
if only i could text you this smell
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
