i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
