I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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