Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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