i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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