She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
