Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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