you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
tonight lets celebrate not being married
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Never let your siblings swipe right.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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