Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
