Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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