is wine microwaveable?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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