i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
