Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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