she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Will exercising make me less horny?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
