An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
