If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
