Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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