I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
