Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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