Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Can you bring me the toilet please
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
