I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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