Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
