in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
