she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize