So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize