he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
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I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
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I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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