He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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