At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
