I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
