THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
