Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
