So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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