So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
