so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Randomize
