Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
