I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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