I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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