Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
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she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
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my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.