There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this