Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out