we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
29 People Who Do Dirty Things Just To Get Their Way
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.