I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
