My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
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I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
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Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Pooping to opera.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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