Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
