tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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