Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
