Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
