But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Let's paint friendship bongs
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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