I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
