and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
