he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
These tits shall not be calmed
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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