kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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