so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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