he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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