Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
